Being a family, with success, in Qingdao
Whether you plan to be in China for a short period of time or a few years, it is important to be prepared. For many of us it is an unexpected opportunity brought about through work relocation, one that was not foreseen earlier. Many of us arrive fresh from our homelands with no awareness of the language or cultural differences. If you are coming to China as a family then it is not just your welfare that matters, your spouse and children become an integral part of the success rating of the experience.
So, what are the key points to bear in mind? What are the main areas for concern for the members of your family? How can you help to make it a colourful and worthwhile experience?
Statistics prove that the majority of those holding the work permit are men; therefore statistics prove that the majority of ‘dependent’ spouses are wives. The family is very much part of the success story; in my experience and time in Qingdao, the family becomes the root of the success or failure. So, how can you turn your duration in Qingdao to benefit all the members of your family? How do you hand them a fruitful experience?
Let’s assume that your company or place of work is assisting you on the necessary introduction of how to understand social dynamics, group dynamics, etiquette, how to greet a person, exchanging business cards, social status and hierarchy together with the important general concepts of working in China. Let’s assume that you have a bilingual PA or team of English-speaking staff. Let’s assume you have found a place to call home for the duration of your time in Qingdao – you wave goodbye to your spouse and children one morning and set off for the new challenges of your posting. Things appear to be settling down.
Avoid Spouse Isolation I would encourage immediate contact with others to build confidence in what you are doing and where you are now living.
So, what are the key points to bear in mind? What are the main areas for concern for the members of your family? How can you help to make it a colourful and worthwhile experience?
Statistics prove that the majority of those holding the work permit are men; therefore statistics prove that the majority of ‘dependent’ spouses are wives. The family is very much part of the success story; in my experience and time in Qingdao, the family becomes the root of the success or failure. So, how can you turn your duration in Qingdao to benefit all the members of your family? How do you hand them a fruitful experience?
Let’s assume that your company or place of work is assisting you on the necessary introduction of how to understand social dynamics, group dynamics, etiquette, how to greet a person, exchanging business cards, social status and hierarchy together with the important general concepts of working in China. Let’s assume that you have a bilingual PA or team of English-speaking staff. Let’s assume you have found a place to call home for the duration of your time in Qingdao – you wave goodbye to your spouse and children one morning and set off for the new challenges of your posting. Things appear to be settling down.
Avoid Spouse Isolation I would encourage immediate contact with others to build confidence in what you are doing and where you are now living.
- Learn some useful Chinese phrases or learn from your children as they learn the language at school; empower them to teach you!
- Check the REDSTAR magazine for relevant articles and places to visit; get out, become aware of your surroundings, walk the streets to get your bearings.
- Do the groundwork in the week to find places for your family to see together at the weekend.
- Make contact with Qingdao Expat Community via www.qingdaoexpat. com, look out for the Qingdao Expat Magazine at major hotels, or contact directly at qingdaoexpat@ yahoo.com.
- Check to see what activities and social gatherings are happening in the foreign community. Even if it is not exactly what you would be doing ‘back home’, make the effort to go anyway and start the connection with people.
- Make contact with the Parent Organisation of the school where your children attend; these mums can receive you with a wonderful welcome and will be keen to answer any questions. At YCIS, new parents receive a personal welcome in the Parent Organisation Newsletter and are connected with the homeroom mum. Join them for the planned lunches or ask to meet for a coffee. Remember, at your child’s school the social network is there to support you.
- Get involved as a volunteer at your child’s school; use your school contact person and Parent Organisation to help make your time and talents very worthwhile.
Avoiding Disorientation Always bear in mind that you can not re-create all that you had back in your home country. Try to maintain realistic expectations; if you were lucky enough to be offered a pre-location visit then be very observant and ask lots of questions to build up the right expectations. Find something that holds your interest and reminds you of who you are. Sit and talk with the contact person of the school. Once you feel your child is safe and secure at school, this will alleviate any stress you may be having over the relocation and settling down period. Impact on Your Children Children approach the relocation in different ways and age plays heavily on this. Excitement, anticipation, resentment and fear are some emotions they will feel. If you feel your child is old enough to be part of the family discussions then include them from the start. Be open about the fact that the new home, new school and new food and so on will all be different but will not remain strange. As you walk around different properties as potential homes - imagine how you would be comfortable there. As you walk around the potential school - imagine how your child would feel comfortable there. |
Benefits for Your Children Whilst in Qingdao
You are able to give a wonderful gift to your child; a gift that perhaps your generation never dreamt about. The gift is being able to experience the whole world whilst in Qingdao. Your child now has the fortune to carry his own background and be immersed in the eastern world; an opportunity to absorb and comprehend the people, the culture and language of the future. This blend results in a global young person, with widened horizons and a flexible aptitude.
Treat the learning of the language as a game at first; play ‘I spy with my little eye…’ using a chosen Chinese character when out and about, looking at the written signs. Make the initial stages of speaking the new language as a fun part of going out, until they naturally become more confident; the bilingual development of a child’s brain is a gift. To witness a child drift effortlessly between languages will fill any parent with pride.
Make the most of this opportunity to widen your child’s visions; cultural and racial acceptance are crucial parts of good development. Choose a school that is going to encourage full embracement of all global citizens and show cultural respect.
Cathy Ben-David is Head of Marketing and Admissions at Yew Chung International School of Hong Kong
You are able to give a wonderful gift to your child; a gift that perhaps your generation never dreamt about. The gift is being able to experience the whole world whilst in Qingdao. Your child now has the fortune to carry his own background and be immersed in the eastern world; an opportunity to absorb and comprehend the people, the culture and language of the future. This blend results in a global young person, with widened horizons and a flexible aptitude.
Treat the learning of the language as a game at first; play ‘I spy with my little eye…’ using a chosen Chinese character when out and about, looking at the written signs. Make the initial stages of speaking the new language as a fun part of going out, until they naturally become more confident; the bilingual development of a child’s brain is a gift. To witness a child drift effortlessly between languages will fill any parent with pride.
Make the most of this opportunity to widen your child’s visions; cultural and racial acceptance are crucial parts of good development. Choose a school that is going to encourage full embracement of all global citizens and show cultural respect.
Cathy Ben-David is Head of Marketing and Admissions at Yew Chung International School of Hong Kong